Sunday, August 18, 2013

The final countdown

All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.

The time has come, the walrus said, to begin this incredible adventure.  That's not quite what the walrus said but that's not important.  People have been asking for months how I feel about this trip.  I sit here now wondering what it is that I feel.  If I had to describe it, I feel the complete opposite of being numb.  It's like every emotion is raging inside my body.  I'm ready to explode.

The follow up question to how I'm feeling is always "what are you most excited about?"  I've thought long and hard about this.  The thought of spending a year in the Holy Land, being so close to Hashem, is incredible.  The idea of being surrounded by a strong Jewish community 24/7 is mind blowing.  Knowing that I'll be spending my days learning without too many other commitments is also great.  But what am I most excited about?  I'll have a period of 10 months where I can focus on me and my story.  I'll have time to define my Judaism without worrying about anyone else.  I won't have to be defensive about my practices because we're all going to be on similar pages- we're all there to learn and discover.  10 months devoted to being a sponge.  You can't beat that.

In less than 24 hours, I'll be getting onto that plane...along with my 30 pills of Xanax.

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